Why B@by Bj0rns are not great

This article sums it up rather well.  I’m not an Erg0 fan either, preferring the Pikkol0 as my SSC of choice, or a good woven wrap, sometimes a MT, but the point is there.

Rottweiler vs Border Collie

In the red corner, an almost 6 year old mostly-rottweiler, weighing in at around 40kg.  In the blue corner an almost 7 year old border collie, weighing in at around 25kg.

In the middle, a pile of chicken necks, dumped by me because I didn’t want to separate them and get my hands icky.

It started off well, with all dogs getting a neck or two.  Then it turned ugly.  A brawl erupted between the two, requiring a good hosing to get them to stop.  The border collie skulked away, the rottweiler limped away.  The fat labrador ate the remaining chicken necks.

Poor rottweiler had a rather large chunk taken out of one of his front legs.  He’s doing much better now after many doses of home0athic arni.ca and some rei.ki.

Bit better

• TBB is in his bed, asleep. 
• TTG is now in our bed, asleep.
• DP is in bed going to sleep. 
• It’s quiet. 
• I’m still tired. 
• Just ate cheese & chive scones that I made yesterday. 
• Drinking hot choc. 
• Worried about the dentist. 
• Upset that younger sister is having another baby, must be nice to have things easy.  And that our mother supports and helps her when she couldn’t be bothered even coming to see me in the hosp at all, or gave a shit about me.
• Okay, very upset about that.

5 Fucking Minutes

That’s all I want. Just 5 minutes break where I am not dealing with anyone or anything. I’ve wrangled TBB into bed and nTTG claims not to be ready to sleep yet. So, I asked DP to watch him for just 5 minutes, IN THE SAM FUCKING ROOM AS ME, so I could sit here and delete some emails (no time to read them all) but I am STILL having to get up every 2 seconds to rescue a stuck, whingy baby or avert danger or retrieve said baby from the hallway.

I am fucking tired.  I can’t get to sleep at night and the quality of sleep I get is shiteful.  I wake up paralysed by pain in my back and hips.

Embryo birthday

Yesterday was the 2nd birthday of the embryos.  One of them is now a very tall, loud little person and is asleep beside me.

The other 2 remain frozen.  Weird that they’ve been frozen for that long.

Delusional

It’s crazy but the past few days I’ve been questioning my infertility.  I couldn’t get pg.  I was ovulating, had sperm where it needed to be when it needed to be there and nothing ever happened, for years. 

Yet a FET worked and I got off very very lightly in the IVF stakes.  Why did IVF work when naturally (DIY cup/syringe) never did (unless you count the suspected chem pg of Feb 04)? 

IVF proved that my eggs seemed to be ok.  12 eggs from one ovary, 1 failed fresh transfer, 1 successful FET and 2 in the freezer.  All top quality embryos.  And since the FET worked there doesn’t seem to be an implantation issue.  My prog levels have always checked out fine, and I did not have any prog supplementation with the FET.

So why couldn’t I get pg before?  My tube is patent.  My cervix was very wonky but it let blood out so it must have been able to let sperm in.  And it was straightened anyway when the endo was removed.  What was going wrong?  Was my CM hostile?

Or was it all our donor’s “fault”?  We never did a SA on him.  His ex wife got pg on their 3rd try with their first child, and 1st try with their second.  DP got pg on her 3rd cycle.  So WTF?  It doesn’t LOOK like a sperm issue, does it?

Part of me wonders what would happen if I tried again someday with a different donor.  The rest of me realises how ridiculous that is.

But I still wonder.

Getting political

It’s taken me 32 years to attend a rally.  TTG and TBB will be going to their first one a LOT earlier.  Tomorrow we are rallying locally to support the rights of women to birth where they want, with whomever they employ to care for them.  The government has no business in women’s vaginas.

Go on

 Guess what I’m doing at 10 o’clock on a Friday night.

Complaint progress

Today I finally made a call to follow up on the complaint I lodged at the hospital in January last year as I’d heard nothing from them.  I’d been putting it off and putting it off but needed to get it done now that TTG has had his 1st birthday.

I ended up crying a bit on the phone, it’s still very upsetting.  The head of womens/babies was apparently supposed to write me a letter, but I never got one.  I’m guess it’ll be a stock standard apology and assurance of further staff training.  Bullshit.

Going incognito

On f@ceb00k that is.  Not that I use it much, but MIL is on there and I want to get awayyy.  DP went incognito for the same reason lol.

LMK if you want to friend my incognito self.